"Each of you is a winner. It doesn't matter if you won or lost the game. You are each a winner". This is and example of the latest trends in child rearing. No matter how badly one does, one is still a winner. How does that train a child for adulthood?
To me each stage in life is beautiful with lessons learned and one step closer to independently making the world a better place. Sometimes when I look at the methods used to teach children, it makes me wonder how are we going to prepare the future generation for a real life. Do you go from "you are a winner" all the time to "there will be times when you fail. Just don't give up". We didn't ever teach them that in the most trainable habit forming years of their life. Are we trying to build up self esteem at the cost of endurance and character.
It is important to build up a child. Look for little things that they do well and praise them. The little things are the world in their eyes. "Wow! look at that move you made" in the middle of the checkers game will build them up more than "you're a winner" when they lost. We need to teach the children that its not always the destination that is enjoyed but every step to it is to be savored.
If we could instill in our future generation a true sense of self worth, they will not constantly need external reassurances of their worth. If we set the example that its ok to fail but to learn and move on, failures will not hold them down. If we set them up to be content and not to look to the others to measure their success but measure it in the terms of what they wanted to achieve, the race will always be to get better. If we teach them that only God is perfect and mistakes are to be forgiven, there will be more peace within and in the world.
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