Being there is important

Its been more than 20 years now since I traveled to attend my cousin's graduation. The cousin I am talking about is more of a brother, someone I hold very dear. Has made me laugh a lot of times when I didn't know how. In fact to this day I always think of him when I get ready to turn off a comedy show because its slobbered in filth in an attempt to make it funny because he is a person who could make me laugh with the silliest of jokes and expressions. That's what I call talent since I used to be a pretty serious person - the kind who always felt there was always something to get done and no time to waste. :)

Coming back to my story, I was out of high school and the prospect of attending this adult function, out of town, in honor of someone I cared so much about was very exciting. I really didn't have much of a clue on what to expect except for what I had seen in movies which was always entertaining. Well, I sat back to enjoy the ceremony when one Professor came up to talk. I though it would never end. A friend of my cousin's offered to show me around and said we would be back at the right time to see the diplomas handed over. That sounded like a great idea. I was glad to escape all the talk and happy to know I'd be there to see the ceremony. I joyfully walked off and went around enjoying the campus.

When I got back, I found out I'd missed the entire ceremony. My Uncle and Aunt were furious. My cousin who graduated was really kind to me and I was miserable. When I say miserable, falling into a pile of dung on my way to a party seemed like heaven. I did all I could to hold back my tears because of course I couldn't cry. I used to be one of those people who thought tears were a sign of weakness. We went out for dinner but to me there was no joy any more. I wished and wished I had never come and then my brother would have never been hurt.

Needless to say, after that day I have never missed anything I went to for a loved one. I'd rather sit through everything than hurt someone I cared about. I come from a culture where we don't say sorry and thank you much. Our actions and demeanor show how we feel. I always prayed that he knew how sorry I felt. I know he forgave me because he let me still do everything that a sister's role needed for his wedding since he didn't have one. It meant a lot to me to be in that place and its one of the occasions I feel most honored.

I would do a lot to take back that mistake of mine. It made me realize how important it is to just be there for the people you love and share the joy with them. Sometimes its not our idea of fun, sometimes it might be for things we don't understand why its so important, but the fact that we were invited should show us that our presence brings the person joy and when we love someone, their joy would bring joy in us.

"Life brings simple pleasures to us every day. It is up to us to make them wonderful memories." 

-- Cathy Allen