All around us we find people who seem to have an easy time getting along with others. We see the laugh and joke and talk about a million things. If you see me around my friends, that's exactly how I would look to you. I love being around my friends and enjoy people for most part.
When my son was diagnosed with autism and I was told that he was a loner and would probably never have a lot of friends, I was heartbroken. I couldn't imagine him going through life without friends.
I was asked to go to a social business meeting. The people in the meeting were folks I dealt with in the normal course of my work. I knew them by name and I was respected for my work. In spite of this, I felt really uncomfortable. I did not know these people for who they were and vice-versa. My conversations and smiles were an act put on. The discomfort I felt was stifling. I felt trapped. The hour and half I was in this social gathering was hard. The people were nice but the discomfort I felt at being forced to socialize was tiring. I was exhausted by the time I left and had a headache.
For the first time it actually hit me what my son went through. How hard it was for him to deal with all the social pressures and to come out of his comfort zone. As he grows, he is dealing well with all the social nuances. His school/teachers provide him with strategies to cope and he is handling it beautifully. I'm seeing him blossom and loving it.
Today when I see someone having a hard time fitting in or being shy, I go out of my way to include them. As I have done that, I have found myself gaining confidence in social situations and being able to deal better. While its still a huge deal for me to be among people I barely know, I am learning to be more comfortable with myself and them. In helping others, I am learning, I am helping myself most of all.
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