Love

I couldn't find a better definition of love than what was defined by Mother Teresa. If we could practice it even in the smallest proportion, we would definitely move towards a better world.

“These are the few ways we can practice humility:

To speak as little as possible of one's self.

To mind one's own business.

Not to want to manage other people's affairs.

To avoid curiosity.

To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully.

To pass over the mistakes of others.

To accept insults and injuries.

To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked.

To be kind and gentle even under provocation.

Never to stand on one's dignity.

To choose always the hardest.” 

― Mother Teresa, The Joy in Loving: A Guide to Daily Living

Much Ado about nothing

Today the media is all hue and cry over Malia Obama taking a gap year. I fail to understand what business it is of anyone's what she does. Other than her parents, I am pretty confident no one is going to pay anything towards her gap year or college tuition. So why the hue and cry over her decision.

I must say I have respect for the young girl for making her own choice. I believe the media should be congratulating the President and First Lady for bringing up such a sensible girl who seems to have her head on her shoulders. I admire her parents for letting her make her decisions and for making sure she values her education. I'd say I'm jealous of their parenting success :). Lets become a society that encourages youngsters in their education. Lets celebrate the success of all children and when children of celebrities model good decisions, lets hold them up as role models. Let her enjoy the decision she is making or even let her make her mistakes and learn from it. She's entitled to both.

Regarding her decision to take a gap year - Couldn't we give her credit for making an informed choice. After all she did get accepted into one of the most elite schools in the USA.

Wouldn't you want your self/child to be surrounded by people and comments that get you/them up to their full potential ?

 “Only surround yourself with people who will lift you higher.”  

– Oprah Winfrey

Can do

One of the most attractive traits in a person is a "can do" attitude. In a lot of conversations that happen today, there is a lot of talk on why something can't be done - too expensive, not enough resources, foolish idea etc. Most people are happy to jump in and tell you why something can't be done.

When you find a person who is willing to explore why something can be done and how, keep them close. These are the people who will help you to aim at the stars and at least land on the treetop. You are still higher than where you were. These gems delve into the whys of what you want to do and help you think things through so your chances of success are high.

When someone asks for help, make sure you explore all the options you have to be able to help them. Offer alternatives or point them to where they could get help if you are not able to help yourself. You will build a circle of respect around you and also be known as a person who looks for options. There will be times when you need to say no to someone asking you for something. Make sure its not a "no" without looking at all aspects. Remember that you would have liked to get options so do unto other as you would like done unto you. The only times to say outright no to is for things that are morally and ethically wrong and against your values.

Nurture your mind with great thoughts,for you will never go any higher than you think

- Benjamin Disraeli 

Everybody Hates Me

I hear that from my 8yr old all the time. He's a sweet, sentimental kid and I wonder why he says that. It also drives me crazy because when he gets into that mode, I have to work very hard to get him out of it. I prefer reading a book to having to convince a 8yr old he's wrong.

I watch him interact with his friends and resist the urge to step in and tell him exactly what he needs to say and do for people to like him. The funny thing is, I would have ruined it. I know because I tried and failed miserably :). The kids didn't seem to get that I was trying to "help". Needless to say, the kids went about their business - fighting, teasing, complaining, hating, loving, having fun, being best friends, all without my help, much to my chagrin.

I wonder why someone would think that everyone hates them. I recently found myself wondering about that often since my son said it. It is then that I realised that I think that too without expressing it in words. There are days when I feel that I cannot say or do anything right. I even hate myself let alone others hating me. While this bothered me infinitely, I have learnt over the years to take the feeling for what it is - a passing feeling. The reality is no one is paying that much attention to us anyways. People who love us and care about us will pay attention, get mad, forgive and go back to loving us. Those who don't, probably were too busy thinking of something else while we put our foot in our mouths. So in the grand scheme of things, all is well. :)

So today, I calm myself by thinking "Tomorrow is another day". I tell my son to focus on the people who do love him and count them out instead of the number of people who didn't give him the importance he thinks he deserves :D. I think respect for one another will go a long way to helping these feelings and if we didn't feel hated once in a while, how would we ever know how good it feels to be loved.

Don't go around all day long thinking, 'I'm unattractive, I'm slow, I'm not as smart as my brother.' God wasn't having a bad day when he made you... If you don't love yourself in the right way, you can't love your neighbour. You can't be as good as you are supposed to be.

Joel Osteen

I don't think it makes a difference

I happened to come across this blog I'd started back in 2013. I had always wanted to blog because I wanted to share all the things I have/am learning. Its so hard to keep up in the world today with the internet, social media and other forms of communication bombarding us with what we should think and say. If you stood up for something you believed in, you might be offending/hurting a whole bunch of people who didn't think like you.

My little blog would make no difference. Less than a billionth of the world population, why would anyone read my random thoughts. I convinced myself this blog is not worth writing about.

Today I came across this blog and the couple of pages I'd written and I realised, it helped me think. My kids are growing and I intend to share it with them. If they would read it and think about what I have written and apply it in their lives, my words here are worthwhile.

As I write I realise that maybe I won't change the world but I could do my best to change the little part of it that is near me.

“What one does is what counts. Not what one had the intention of doing.” 

― Pablo Picasso

God and science

I absolutely LOVE science and it fascinates me no end. I an intrigued by all the new learnings we see every day. Nanotechnology is my latest craze/love. I watch DVDs of Darwin's theory of evolution and watch all the wonders of our complex body. It is amazing! There are so many answers to so many questions.
And then I sit down to say my prayers. Here is a God I love and I know loves me. I can't explain anything. The questions grow and the answers are few. Is there really a God? Didn't the scientists explain everything very logically ?
I shake my head. I know in my heart that God takes care of me. The incidents in my life have been sorted out too many times without anything from my end for it to be a co-incidence. I have turned to Him in my hours of need, and I have felt my worries lift away.
I don't know how to explain. I probably cannot convince a non believer and the non believer cannot convince me. Life experiences outweigh all the things I hear from others. Being blessed with a son with Asperger's has its own rewards. Its tough and there are times I go crazy and even wish I was dead. But when I turn to Him who is Lord of all things, I realise I just need to grow my trust. I count my blessings and know that I was not let down.
Does my faith mean I discard/disregard all that science can teach me. Definitely not! That would be like being an ostrich burying its face in the sand. I enjoy the knowledge. I love how we study different aspects of the universe and come up with theories/experiments/conclusions. To me every discovery just goes to show how little we know about the majesty of God.

So do I think that science will prove there is no God. I don't know. The way I see things, I believe that science will one day prove the existence of God. After all God is an artistic scientist who knows everything and created us in His image. We recognize artists/scientists in the pattern of their work. As I read, to me evolution shows me a pattern in which I can always recognize the pattern of God as and artist/scientist or anything else I may care to think of.
After all, the brainiest/greatest scientist of all times said -

When the solution is simple, God is answering.

Albert Einstein 

The most precious thing I can give ...

... is time. Every day I realize how precious the moments that make up life are - my family and friends make demands on it and of course my work requires a fair share of it and of course I want some for myself to be selfish in.

There was a time when money was the hardest thing to give away but today, its time. We are a society driven consciously or subconsciously with a desire to do what we want in the time we have. Parents travel at the cost of the time with kids, people give gifts to substitute their time. The world today is slowly becoming a place where we ask people around us to take a back seat for things that we consider more important - work, TV, games .. the list goes on.

I am guilty of all the above. When my child comes and asks me for something while I am trying to get my work done, I barely pay attention. I mechanically nod and answer while I continue with my job which I should have shut down 2 hours back. I'm watching a movie and my kid comes over and asks a question to which I respond hastily and if the questions persist, I quickly pull him up on the couch with me and ask him to watch the movie. Thankfully I like "G" rated movies. :-).

I have become more conscious about these subconscious responses of mine. I am blessed with children who don't hesitate to speak their mind. My 6 year old doesn't think twice about telling me "Mom, you never listen when I have to say something" which of course triggers all my "guilt hormones" and the next 10 minutes are dedicated to my child. The good thing about me reacting this way is that while initially it was triggered by guilt, I realized it is getting easier for me to focus on what he has to say. I realize that I am blessed that my children can talk to me the way they do. I can't say I like listening to it because of course I don't want to be anything short of perfect and in lieu thereof, no one should tell me I am not.

My children will grow up and be gone. If I don't build my relationship with them, I won't have anything later. My friends will fade away if I don't take the time to let them know how special they are or if I am not there for them when they need me. The times I could enjoy bringing up the kids with my husband will go and we will not be able to share much as time goes by. Work will always be there and we are not indispensable. Movies and shows I could watch any time. Then shouldn't I be giving the most precious thing I have to people whom I care about the most ?

If you want to make good use of your time, you’ve got to know what’s most important and then give it all you’ve got.

--- Lee Iacocca